One of my favorite little games is to find the silly, obvious, or unintended errors. Self depreciating one's work is a time honored tradition and the first draft offers up the most opportunity. Here are some of my recent gems I have come across.
Hegge grabbed a rock in her hand.
-Just in the case the reader would assume she grabbed it with the crook of her arm, I helped them out. Tell don't show! Or wait, was it show don't tell?
“The university doesn’t teach that level of mathematics, my dear pip.” Trude stifled a song.
-Yawn. Song. Whatever! You know what I meant. Probably.
"No." She shook her heard.
-Senses can be shaken right?
The Altum pursed her lisps
-She was, uh, very self conscious of her lisp and would purse it and stuff.
"A thought memory occurred to her"
-Regular memories are so pedestrian. I have thought memories!
The phrase ‘unlimited budge’ made it hard to concentrate
-Sometimes it just takes one letter.
How about you? Have any first draft gems?