First Draft Gems

Whittling a first draft into something resembling a coherent story is tedious but ultimately an enjoyable process. It's easier to work with the words, transforming them into something better, than staring at the perfect vacuum of a blank page.

One of my favorite little games is to find the silly, obvious, or unintended errors. Self depreciating one's work is a time honored tradition and the first draft offers up the most opportunity. Here are some of my recent gems I have come across.


Hegge grabbed a rock in her hand.

-Just in the case the reader would assume she grabbed it with the crook of her arm, I helped them out. Tell don't show! Or wait, was it show don't tell?

“The university doesn’t teach that level of mathematics, my dear pip.” Trude stifled a song.

 -Yawn. Song. Whatever! You know what I meant. Probably.

 "No." She shook her heard.

-Senses can be shaken right?  

The Altum pursed her lisps

-She was, uh, very self conscious of her lisp and would purse it and stuff.

"A thought memory occurred to her"

-Regular memories are so pedestrian. I have thought memories!

The phrase ‘unlimited budge’ made it hard to concentrate

-Sometimes it just takes one letter.

How about you? Have any first draft gems?